Hoorah! The royal baby is here! Thinking back to the day he was born, I can’t help but think about the fact that it coincides with the best summer we have had in a while – I am sure you all agree with me. My thoughts are also drawn to Kate and Wills’ wedding day in 2011 – it was another lovely sunny day. This one, in fact was somewhat in the midst of mostly gloomy days but hey, the sun still shone on that glorious day. It appears the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge seem to get the sun just when they need it. Or do they I wonder….
There have been days in their relationship when they have been scrutinised, left without any private moments and their lives have been read, debated, with everyone East, North, West and South of not just England but the world over having something to say. In fact, just last week, my colleagues and I got into a debate about the fashion that Kate chooses to wear and how strongly her personal style has actually been reflected since marrying Wills’. It was interesting to say the least!
It’s amazing how many people read our relationships and the decisions we make about our personal circumstances from the outside. They may sometimes judge that its all sunny, bright and lively, with little or no issues – they may say that a couple look good together, they look like they are in love, they are rich… People may also judge that we don’t have such a great relationship if perhaps they see us contemplative, possibly shouting at each other, a harsh word spoken or unruly children. But should we judge others so quickly or just on the back of what we see or hear on a few occasions…?
Building a happy relationship (whatever happiness means to us) is like building a house or perhaps more aptly a home. It starts with the foundation, soon enough brick upon brick is added till we have a full structure. Next we start to add the fixtures and even furnishings. After we add the furnishings, we find that from time to time we need to add on a little here and a little there to make it our dream home. In fact on certain occasions or after a period of time, we may find that we need to redo the home completely. Guess what, the structure always remains irrespective of any upgrades made.
In a relationship, the structure is all the foundational things we put in place in the first few months and years of meeting our partner. We get it all done up and equip ourselves with whatever we need in other to beautify our relationship and make it more of what the two people want. We find that as we grow physically, emotionally and spiritually as individuals and as a couple we continue to “furnish” our relationships. Sometimes, it gets really difficult and perhaps not so “sunny” but what keeps us plowing on is the structure we have put in place. This structure often includes a decision to commit through sunny days or days we are shouting at each other or even dealing with unruly kids. Therefore despite the difficulties we may face, let’s build on our structure and furnish it often and we’ll find that we’ll probably have more sunny days -although I’m not sure we’ll all be birthing royal babies on a sunny summer day :-)